Learning to be present
As I took six Pre school girls out into the yard and had them repeat the names of different nature in english back to me. As these six girls picked flowers and started to weave the flowers into each other’s and my hair. As we all laid in the grass, looked up at the clouds and pointed out each unique cloud’s shape… It took everything in my power not to run inside and grab my camera to have these memories with me forever. I felt divided between living in this perfect moment and longing to capture it through a lens. I worried that once we went back inside to the classroom, I would loose this time with the girls forever.
This type of instance of feeling divided happens to me often. Which is a good thing, don’t get me wrong! In the past two weeks, I have already found myself living out the stories I will most likely blabber about in a nursing home 75ish years from now. Stories like yesterday with my sweet Karen, who cried when I told her my family sponsors her. Karen told me upon my arrival, her mother told her it was me who sponsors her but she didn’t believe her mom. I asked her why she was crying, she said back to me, she was so happy it was my family who sponsors her because she loves me so much. Once again, I had to hold back (the tears) and grabbing my camera to capture her sweet face and this sweet moment. These children have truly captured my heart, thinking about leaving them already makes me sad. I want to have this year and these sweet moments forever.
In these moments of being caught, I feel like both Mary and Martha when Jesus came to visit them. I am Mary when I live in these precious moments with the students. In the same way, Mary rushed to the feet of Jesus and lived in that exact moment with him. I also can’t help to feel like Martha who gets distracted by all the preparations for Jesus’s arrival, when I long to have my camera in the moments with my students. Good thing Jesus responds to the Martha in me by saying,
John 10: 41-42
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
I most likely will often struggle between my inner Mary and Martha, but knowing Jesus wants and favors me to be more like Mary is encouraging. If I choose to be present, if I choose to be the Mary in these moments, than Jesus says they will not be taken away from me. If the Lord favors being present, than I believe he will keep these moments and memories with me regardless of if they are captured on a camera. I challenge you, even in your every day life to choose to be like Mary and maybe one day we both can tell stories 75ish years from now in the nursing home together. ;)